October 7, 2018

How To Foster Unity

How To Foster Unity In Marriage?

Unity in marriage is God’s plan.  In Genesis 2:24-25 . . . a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh

To foster unity in marriage these common M’s are necessary components.

Common Mind

Couple’s thought process are more or less in sync. Others call it a shared mind. As years go by you and your spouse develop a unique language that only you two will understand. This unique language can be a body gesture or can be words that only you two will understand.

I remember one time  I was thinking to spend the remaining hours of our free day at the beach and when I was about to tell my husband he told me that he wanted to go to the beach during that same time I was planning to go.

There was also a moment when I wanted to go home early but I saw that he had an engaging conversation with a friend. When he looked at my direction and saw my facial expression with a matching wink of an eye he right away understood that I would like to go home already thus prompting him to end the conversation with his friend.

Research says that when you and your spouse share the same thought it deepens your union and bond.

Were you able to experience this? Try to recall one event in your marriage where you and your spouse were having the same thought.

Common Morals

Morals are the standards a couple will set in their marriage to what is good or evil. Since both the husband and wife were brought up in two different family settings it is possible that they may differ in culture and morals.

To preserve unity in marriage it is helpful that couples will see to it that at the beginning of their marriage they share the same values and  share the same standard of good and evil.

Do you and your spouse share the same morals in your marriage especially on the issue of money?

Common Manners

The book of Peter Post Essential Manners for Couples reveals the most common “flashpoints”—places, situations and times when inconsiderate behavior is most likely to invade blissful coupledom, as well as how to enhance relationships, head off hostilities, and cultivate that all-important relationship with the significant other in your life.

His book reveals some couple’s mischievous manners weaknesses.

In my own experience I have noticed that my husband and I  share the same manner of waking up early in the morning, make our early morning prayers and promptness on appointments. We also are both against speaking bad words and yelling at each other.

What about you, what common manners do you share with your spouse?

Common Money

Money is an issue in marriage and when not resolved may sometimes be a reason for couples to part ways. Amy Freeman enumerated 6 common money arguments of couples like spending habits, saving habits, who earns what, who controls what, past-current-future family support and past-current-future debts.

Communication is an essential part on this issue in marriage. According to Wells Fargo’s research 44% of the people find financial topics as one of the most difficult topic to talk about.

At the onset of marriage clarity on money issues will be helpful for couples.

In our case my husband made it clear that I will be the treasurer of the house and will handle in its financial management though I will also be subject for inventory. We also agreed a certain amount to spend that doesn’t need permission from either of us and that beyond the agreed amount we have to inform each other.

Financial planning, budgeting and communicating to your spouse are essential elements in marriage.

How do you handle conversations on money?

Common Meals

The family that eats together stays together.

Having a meal together with the children and other members of the family enhances family relationship and bonding. This is the time when each other will be able to ask how is ones day. Making communication lines open during meal time help couples achieve openness, authenticity and strong partnership.

Besides asking how’s your day, couples can be creative and ask questions like what’s your favorite pet? Where do you want to go this weekend? Who is your new found friend at work?

How many times in a day you eat together with your spouse? With your children? With family members? How do you find that time when you are with them?

Let me end that God rejoices a family that stays together in love.

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”  Psalm 133:1

 Your marriage mentor

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