January 28, 2021

A Calm Soul Of A Spouse Makes Trying Times Conquerable

In marriage difficulties are inevitable.  But do you know that these difficulties will give you an opportunity to exercise your focus and determination?

In 26 years of marriage there are approaches I can share to you to conquer the challenges that may face you.

Concentrate on maintaining a calm soul.

Before I mastered this approach when something went wrong in my day I usually got upset and usually responded not in a good way and it was not helping me, spiritually and physically.

I believe that if it’s not natural to us it is so difficult to stay calm.

By the time I learned to tame my emotions I enjoyed better health, peace of mind and more love.

While it is easy to allow confrontation to anger you, choose to take the higher road of controlling your emotions.

Force yourself to develop the will to overcome the toughest situation.

Spend a lot of time nurturing your mind and spirit.

I remember when I was still in the employee world, stress at work triggered me to be irritable. 

What I did, I chose to avoid being reactive to difficult situations that will catch me off guard. When I encounter resistance my first step was to silence my soul.

I ignore the stirrings of impatience and anger that pull at me. I block them out completely by praying for the grace to calm my mind and spirit.

When your soul is calm, you will be able to think things through.

Remember that God created you as a conqueror.

You can overcome any obstacle. With serenity, you can see the value in all your life experiences.

Even obstacles become worthwhile and meaningful when seen in this light.

Every time I was giving in to negativity it only served to worsen any situation.

Realizing this I promised myself to  focus  on overcoming the challenge at hand by counteracting negativity with positivity and peace.

By rejecting unease at my core, I was able to make smart choices that produce finer results.

Ask self-reflection questions.

Asking and writing is a healing process. 

Ask yourself the following questions and write the answers in your journal or even a simple notebook of thoughts.

 1. What exercises can I undertake to help me develop a consistently calm soul?

2. How often do I encounter situations that are difficult for me to control?

3. What assistance can I get from outside sources when dealing with trying times?

Yes, doing all four approaches above takes time (I also had the hard time practicing them, adulting is hard work and not a joke). Science suggests that if you practice them in 21 days you are actually forming a habit and they eventually will become your way of life. 

What is it worth for when doing them you can have peace, clarity, breathe with ease, become more purposeful and productive?

To your empowered marriage!


 Your marriage mentor

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