February 28, 2021

Goals & Values

In a relationship especially in marriage it is helpful to ask questions that may lead you to your married journey's desired destination to forever.

Question #1 Are your goals and values a good match?

It’s important that they are.

When a mismatch exists, it’s important to either alter your values or your goals.

Success is much easier when your values and your intentions are highly compatible.

Question #2 Do Your Goals Support Your Values?

If you’re struggling to be as successful as you’d like to be, there’s a great chance that a discrepancy exists between your goals and your values. 

This may also hold true between your goals and values in relation to your spouse's goals and values.

Do you know that if our goals are antithetical to our values, success is all but impossible. We don’t like to behave in ways that are counter to our values.

If a mismatch exists, something has to give.

If you’re forever coming up short when it comes to achieving your dreams, your values might be at odds with your goals.

Here are six strategies to set  couple goals that support your couple values.

1. List your current values.

This is a good individual exercise for both hubby and wifey.

Personally I have a separate notebook for this list from my hubby and he also has his own. Then when done listing we usually compare notes.

Have you ever taken the time to examine your values?

Most people have never given their values a second thought. This is a shame, because a person’s values guide their thinking, decisions, and actions.

Take 30 minutes and list your values.

Put them in order of their priority to you.

Ask yourself if your behavior is aligned with your values and aligned with your spouse's values too. 

If there’s a mismatch, what set of values would actually represent your behavior?

 Most of us have an idealized impression of our intentions, values, and qualities. 

2.What are you trying to accomplish?

What are your goals in life?

What do you want to accomplish?

Do you want to retire early?

Get a house and car?

Write a book?

Save the environment?

Build an online business?

The first step to any great success is to identify your objectives and your BIG why.

3.How do your current values impact your goals? 

If your values and goals don’t match, the odds of success are dismal without something changing.

For example, if you believe that wealthy people are fundamentally bad, you’ll never accumulate a significant amount of wealth.

If comfort is a high priority for you, that saving and investing sacrifice will never materialize.

Do you value having a lot of leisure time?

Do you value family prayer time?

A goal that requires a lot of work isn’t going to happen. Look at your goals and look at your values.

Do your goals support those values and at the same time do your values support your goals?

4.What would be the perfect set of values to support your goals?

Imagine you could build a person  from scratch that would be perfect for accomplishing your goals.

What values and qualities would they possess?

How would you be different if you had these values?

Think about the people you know that have accomplished what you want to accomplish.

How would you describe them?

5.How close can you come to matching those values?

How well can you rearrange your values to match that ideal set of values?

Be flexible and make adjustments. 

The closer you’re able to come, the greater the odds of your success.

6.Reinforce the values that matter.

Imagine that your goal is to save Php200,000 for a down payment on a home. 

Let’s suppose that you’ve determined that you need to be someone that values saving money over spending.

How can you build this value in yourself and make it a part of you?

Prove to yourself that you’re that type of person:

For example, pick up a peso you find on the ground and save them. 

Having a budget. 

Find new ways of dealing with stress other than shopping.

Save part of your income as soon as your paycheck hits your bank account.

Start investing. 

When you keep proving to yourself over and over again that you possess a value, those actions will build and reinforce that value.

It's time to sit down, give specific and clear answers to the above questions.

I always stand by with our tagline that:

A GREAT marriage starts with a SOLID FOUNDATION and part of that solid foundation is when a couple will be able to give clear and match goals and core values.


 Your marriage mentor

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